


A Different Kind of Betrayal

by TitanSlayer



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I AM SORRY, M/M, More tags as the story goes on, Multi, One Night Stands, bar owner!Hanji, but not between Eren and Levi, drunk!Eren, kind of, kinda depressed Eren, mentions of drug abuse, smut in chapter 1, the reader gets to decide what happens next, there won't be frequent updates tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:31:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4370276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TitanSlayer/pseuds/TitanSlayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day Levi leaves Eren without really telling him why or when he will come back.</p><p>"I don't have the time to explain. Eren, don't worry, I'll eventually come back. Be a good boy and wait for me."</p><p>As the days go on, Eren meets different people that will influence his life and his decisions. Time passes and Eren is somewhat willing to let go of Levi and start a new life. Or will he? It's up to the readers to come up with ideas and decide what happens next. Will Levi come back? What are his intentions for leaving? What relationships will form during Eren's life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Is everything going to be alright?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking interest in this fanfiction! And yeah the interesting thing about this is that, like I already said, the reader can decide what happens, who will get with whom together, who dies etc. And according to the ideas I will tag it properly. So we write this story together, should be fun, hm?
> 
> One day I really wanted to have a Levi/Eren/Erwin thing, with NO Eruri, that is one thing that I won't consider doing, bc NOTP and such y'know. Also, there will be no frequent updates, since I like it to write my stories on my phone and not laptop (don't ask me why, I only can write on my phone hahaha) and my phone broke so Idk when I'll be able to update again, but I wanted to get this story out of my system.
> 
> But anyways, please enjoy! :)

"I'm going to leave." his words cut through me like a knife. Why? What did I do?

"You... you leave... m-me?" my voice was unsteady and I felt like crying.

Why would he ever? He promised me he would never go away. Doesn't he love me anymore?

He shook his head, "Well, not really, it's... how can I say it?" his eyes looked anywhere but me.

"I'm looking for something." he finally said and also _finally_ looked at me.

I felt my eyes burning, but no tears came. My throat felt like it was on fire, but no words came out of my mouth. Am I losing him right now?

"And that's... not me?" I said and the dam broke and I began to cry. He didn't try to comfort me, he just stood there, watching me crying.

"Who is it you're looking for?" I waited two minutes and I began to snap.

"Levi, look at me goddamnit! Who the fuck is it?! Don't you... love me... a-anymore? Is it that? Will you e-ever come back?" of course I knew he wouldn't come back. I knew he had someone else. But I knew that he still loved me, even when a little.

How long did he wanted to do that? How long, how fucking long did he had an affair? Was I not good enough? And who is it?

Levi was my world. He kept me sane, he was my source of happiness. My life before I met him was dark, dark and painful. And without him, do I have to live that life again? Become the thug that I was and break someones nose every week? Do drugs? Smoke again? Sleep with countless of men, because of the little slut that I was? He changed me. I am a whole new person now. People would've never guessed that I was once that kind of person.

Now I am kind, cheerful, energetic, pretty optimistic and clean.

I don't want to fall back into my old ways.

"I don't have the time to explain. Eren, don't worry, I'll eventually come back. Be a good boy and wait for me." his voice was soft and loving, but I didn't trust that.

Eventually.

He would _eventually_ come back. Eventually my ass, you bastard.

 

"No. Don't come back. I don't want to see you again! Leave and never come back, asshole!" I screamed. I lied. I wanted him to stay, I wanted to see him again, every day, every hour, every minute. Stay.

Levi looked shocked and hurt. But shouldn't it be _me_ who's hurt? Did he expect me to beg him to stay and say I love you like a fucking mantra? Then you're wrong. I may be a shitty person, but I would never fall so low. Not even for Levi.

If he wanted to leave me, so be it. Then I'd gladly watch him leave.

He nodded weakly, "Okay... I'll see you when I've sorted things out then."

"Don't." I told him. Don't come back...  
I want you to stay, but I also want you to leave. To get out of my life.

What do I really want?

 

He picked up his suitcase and opened the door and didn't turn around for the last time. Not even a goodbye was said. Nothing.

Nothing. That's what I felt inside. Nothing.

It's empty now. The apartment we shared together for over a year, it's just me. Me and my thoughts.

Unable to stand anymore I sat down onto the couch and put my head in my hands. I remembered that in winter we both cuddled on this couch and he told me he loved me. I remembered our first time together. I remembered how he took care of me when I got sick.

The room was spinning and I let my tears fall free. "H-he, oh god, he's g-gone... You damn fucker!"

I hope one day you're regretting all this and you're changing your mind. I swear, I'm not going to let you back in.

 

* * *

 

"Earth to Jaeger, are you alright?" Jean's annoying voice broke my train of thoughts.

Armin hit his arm, "Jean! No, he's obviously *not* alright, you idiot!" god, did I loved Armin.

He held up his hands in defense, "Okay, okay! Just wanted to check. But seriously, though, I could never forgive him." geez, thanks Jean. I didn't want to talk about Levi right now. It's not like he didn't already occupied my mind for the whole two weeks, and now I have to talk about him all the damn time? No thanks.

"Gosh, you're such an insen-" no, let's not snap at Jean, even though he deserved it. But right now, I am not in the mood for it. "Forget it." I said and took my belongings and left the store.

I couldn't deal with this shit right now.

 

* * *

 

After I stormed out of the store I wandered aimlessly through the streets. I'm wondering what Levi is doing right now...  
I haven't gotten any messages since he's left. I am mad at him, I am sad, I am confused but I am also worried. I can't change the fact that I love him, even if I _wanted_ to hate him, but I couldn't bring myself to do that.

Yes, he broke my heart. Yes, he probably has someone else. And _yes_ , he lied to me. I honestly have no idea what I want to do...

I turned around a corner and a neon sign caught my eyes. From what I can tell is that it's a bar. ' _Scouting Legion bar_ '. What an odd name for a bar, but hey, it's better than nothing.

My feet carried me towards the bar and as I opened the heavy door, it reeked of alcohol and sweat. I swore myself to never drink alcohol again and get drunk, but that was when I met Levi. Now I don't even care about that anymore, all I want is to forget everything for a moment, or for a few hours for that matter.

It was crowded and I noticed that there were only guys, no women. Uh, it's a gay bar, right?

Behind the counter I saw a woman with brown hair and glasses, she was laughing at what the man in front of her said. I should ask her, she could give me an answer since she obviously works here.  
I sat on one of the stools and smiled at her. Well, it wasn't a happy smile, nor was it a sad one. Maybe a confused one? I don't know.

"Hey! Haven't seen you here before!" she laughed excited and I raised an eyebrow.

God, her voice is definitely loud. "Yeah, thought it's not a bad idea to get drunk." I said honestly, even though I feel a bit guilty about drinking. But that bastard isn't here to stop me anyway.

She perked up at that, "Why is that?" she asked curiously.

I shrugged, "My... boyfriend left me. Probably for some other man,"

She chuckled, "Sorry to hear that. Well, than you're not at a wrong place! As you can see, this is a gay bar! Oh, I am Hanji by the way." so I was right, huh?

I nodded to her. "I'm Eren..."

"Well, Eren. Then have fun here!" sh- no, Hanji, laughed.

I ended up drinking a bit too much of Vodka. I slammed down my empty glass at the counter, "Seriously, fuck him! Fuck him and his smooth black hair and his wonderful pale skin. Fuck him and his pretty grey eyes! I don't need him. Rot in hell, bastard..." I slurred. I couldn't think or look straight anymore.

"Oh honey, this Levi must be an asshole. It happened to me too, you know? Ah, some men are scumbags." Hanji ranted.  
I ordered another glass and she happily obliged and poured me more into my glass. The stool next to me was now occupied by some stranger and I could feel his eyes on me. His stare hadn't made me uncomfortable, it was just weird being looked at by someone else than Levi this way.

I turned my head to him and while I did that the room spinned.

"Hey, I am Eld." the stranger introduced himself hastily, but he was definitely charming. His smile was pretty and his eyes were kind.

"E-Eren..." I muttered and Eld chuckled.

"You're really beautiful, _Eren_." the way he said my name, was so undeniably sexy, that I nearly lost it.  
Hanji placed my drink in front of me and I gripped the glass immediately after she let go of it.

"Thank you. You're not bad yourself," and that wasn't even a lie.

I never thought I would say that to someone other than Levi.

Levi, where are you?

"You think so? Wanna dance, Eren?" he asked nicely, but I had to think about that.  
Well, forget that. I am too drunk to think. So I agreed with him, but I drank my glass empty before we went to the dance floor.

After I stood up I nearly fell but his strong arms caught me.

The music was loud and had a lot of beats. I actually didn't want to dance, all I wanted was to go cry in a corner and stare at pictures from Levi and me.

Erd held me close and we swayed to the music in perfect sync, his hands glided down my sides and placed them on my hips.

"Say, what brings a beautiful boy like you here?" I don't know whether it was because of the alcohol or if it was really me, but I gripped his shirt and held him even closer. Our groins met and we both let out groans.

"My bo- I mean, ex-boyfriend left me." the words left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Ex-boyfriend, huh? It hurts to say that. I want you Levi, I want only you. Come back!

"What? If I was your boyfriend, I would never let you go, Eren. Never..." he whispered into my ear and if I said I wasn't turned on by that, than I would be lying. His hands travelled further and groped my ass. I let out a quiet moan.

"I..." what did I wanted to say? I wanted to say something, _anything_ for that matter, but now...  
I swear, I was so fucking horny in that moment.

So I looked him into his eyes and said seductively, "Fuck me, Eld." I knew he couldn't resist, since he obviously was so eager to get into my pants the moment he laid his eyes on me. It was so obvious to see, I bet even Hanji saw that.

I wanted to get laid right now, Levi be damned. As I already said 'ex-boyfriend'.

"As you wish, pretty boy," he purred back and led me to one of the hidden rooms of the bar. The room was spacious and in the center a big bed. The walls were painted gray and gold, next to the bed there were two bottles of champagne.

Are we even allowed to get in here?

Eld slammed the door shut and kissed me roughly. So rough, that I stumbled back and lost balance. He tasted after alcohol, but I surely don't taste any different since I had a lot of alcohol myself.

Eld's hands went up and down my body; groping, stroking. It was disgusting when I think about it. And to think, that I swore myself (and to Levi) that I would never drink again and I would never sleep with random men, it is really disgusting. Utterly disgusting.  
But it's something that I've chosen.

I froze when his tongue glided on my bottom lip, practically begging to open them. I hesitated, it's not like I hadn't kissed with tongue before; I've done that many times with Levi already, but with him...?

In the end I gave him permission and he wasted no time to push his tongue into my mouth. He moaned into the kiss and shoved me onto the bed and fiddled with my buttons. I helped him to get me out of my shirt. I just wanted to be fucked fast so I can leave right after that, so get me naked now or never.

After what felt like forever he broke the kiss and straddled me. His eyes were filled with lust, and I could feel his erection through his pants.  
You could still hear the music from outside, though muffled by the closed door. He pressed his crotch against mine and he broke out into a moan.

I wasn't really satisfied from that.

He finished the rest of my buttons and threw my shirt across the room. At some time we had a bit (hah) of the champagne. Somewhere in my drunken mind wondered how much it costs, because damn, that tasted good.

My hands run over his chest, feeling his abs under his shirt and I decided that he wore too much. So I hastily pulled his shirt off and sucked on his neck. I eventually bit down and he'd let out a quiet moan. Eld continued to rub our crotches together; though teasingly slow, sending waves of pleasure through my body. I was so aroused that it hurt. I just needed my pants and boxers off.

"Eld, don't tease me! Goddamnit!" I cried out. I _needed_ my release and if I don't get it from him then I'll jerk myself off to climax.

"Fuck me already!"

Eld chuckled into my ear, his voice dropping an octave and it was god damn sexy. "As you wish, young master,"

He nibbled on my earlobe, "Ah.. E-Eld..." his hands were everywhere. Everytime he touched me, my body felt like it was on fire and aroused me even more. He janked off my pants and trailed kisses down from my torso to the waistline of my boxers.

Suddenly I felt Eld's hand on my dick, palming me.  
"Ah, fuck!" I wasn't exactly quiet, but it was okay, it's not like people can hear me through the noise outside this room anyway.

I moaned like a bitch in heat and he came closer to my face and stopped a few centimeters before my lips.

"You like this, don't you?" he purred and I nodded frantically.  
My mind was clouded and I couldn't think straight. Up until now I think everything could make me cream into my boxers.

Erd backed away and gave a few sucks on my still clothed dick and I swear to god that felt amazing!  
I shamelessly lifted my hips to get him going, as he pulled my underwear (finally) off.

I was a panting mess under him and I am so sure that I was blushing like fucking hard. The way he stared at my erected dick, like he was some kind of animal, wanting the meat.

He smirked and gave an experimental lick. Quiet noises came out of my mouth, as he fucking deepthroated me. That man was insane.  
But it felt so good. It was so warm and wet around my dick and the friction he created when he bobbed his head up and down my dick, like some lollipop.  
After one particular hard suck I cried out his name,"Oh god Eld! Ah! Nngh.." I gripped the bedsheets as I was close to cumming. He noticed as well and licked on my slit the last time before he released my dick with a 'pop'.

"Hah... hah...", you could only hear me moaning and panting, otherwise the room was quiet.

"Can't have you cumming yet, right?" he said and flipped me over, so I was lying on my stomach and with my ass in the air. I could hear him stripping himself off of his clothes, and pulled out lube and a condom.  
I couldn't wait for him to enter me and thrust into me like crazy.

"Hurry the fuck up!", my patience was wearing off, leaving me mostly annoyed. I wanted to get this done fast.

Motherfucker.

Eld pulled off the cap and lubricated his fingers so that he could stretch me properly, without hurting me so much.  
The first finger went in smoothly and I moaned at that. He gave me some time to adjust to the feeling before slipping in another finger, scissoring me.

"Aah, oh fuck, faster, please!" I moaned and he complied, thrusting his fingers in and out of me in a fast pace. This is what I needed. The friction, the pleasure and the feeling of being filled.

After some time he pulled out and I whined at the loss. With his teeth he opened the condom and rolled it onto his dick. He stroked it a few times, his head falling back and moaned. I bit on my lip because I knew what was coming and I was so fucking ready for that.

He positioned himself between my legs and pushed the head slowly in. We both groaned as he slid more and more in, until his dick was now fully in me.

He pulled almost instantly back and slammed right into me with such strenght that it left me breathless.

I arched my back and let my head fall back. "Ah, fuck! Yes!"

 

* * *

 

 

I left immediately after it was over. And god knows how I ended up at Jean's apartment. I didn't even wanted to be there.

"...Jaeger? What are you doing here? And it's what, five in the morning?" his sleepy voice was actually adorable. I didn't just said that, did I? It's definitely the alcohol.  
It's like my legs couldn't carry me any further and I crashed into Jean.

"I am tiiiired. Have ya a bed f'r me?" I slurred out.

He sighed annoyed and dragged me in.  
"You're lucky that I live alone or else I would've left your drunken ass outside." he said, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was tired, so, so fucking tired. Erd really had worn me out.

Jean had a guest room and I threw myself onto the bed as soon as I saw it.  
I only heard a "Goodnight," from Jean before I fell asleep. I wanted to cuddle with Levi... I didn't wanted to sleep alone, where is Levi? I am cold...

 

* * *

 

The birds chirped loudly, much to my dismay and I heared the door opening. Man, my head feels like it'll explode...

"Hey, Jaeger, wake up."

I groaned and rolled over, "Ugh, Levi go away... sleep..."

He sighed, "I am not Levi. It's Jean, geez,"

I shot up and yeah, maybe I shouldn't have done that, because everything became really fucking weird.

"Bad move, Jaeger." he chuckled. Bastard, should've cut off your tongue when I had the chance.

My head was spinning (that happened a lot in the past few weeks) and I begged, yes I *begged* Jean to give me some pain killers.

He just laughed, winked at me and said in a playful tone, "Say, Jean is hot as fuck and I'd love to be fucked by him."

I snorted. No way in hell I'm gonna say that! He must be joking, right?

"Hell no, forget it." I snarled at him. Fucking asshole, likes to tease me and makes fun of me. Oh just you wait Jeanny.

"I'd be lying, and my mother taught me not to lie," I laughed, because his face was priceless.

Jean clicked his tongue in annoyance, placed one hand on his right hip and sighed, "Oi, Jaeger... You have to be a bit nicer, alright? And here I thought I'd prepare something to eat for you, but well..." he trailed off and went out of the room.

The fucker likes to play with me, right? Cut off his tongue, cut him open, bite off his dick- for all I care. Make him regret.

"Jean is... hot as fuck and I'd love to be... god I can't believe I am saying this, fucked by him."

He came back into the room and I just rolled my eyes. "Good boy." he said and patted my head. Ew, you never know where this hand has been this morning. I pushed back the blanket and sat up on the edge of the bed.  
I groaned once more and buried my face in my hands. My head feels like it cracked up in half and someone plays surgeon with my brain. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I immediately tensed up.

"Hey, listen..." Jean began in a surprisingly soft voice, "I am sorry about what I said at the store. I know that you're still not over him- I mean, how could you? I didn't think before I spoke." he finished.

Was that really Jean? I rose my head to look him into the eyes. Believe it or not, but I fucking smiled at him. We often fight and argue, so I never really get the chance to see his soft and nice side.

"I am sorry too, I kinda overreacted there." I said softly and apologetic. Jean opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, no longer wanting to continue this conversation.

"It's fine, Jean. Really, it is. It's something between Levi and me and you did nothing wrong, so... don't worry, buddy." I stood up and stretched, some of my bones popped and damn, it was a good feeling.  
I spent the day at Jean's and he did a good job at keeping me distracted.

But as soon as I was alone, I cried. My chest felt heavy and anything I see that reminds me even a little bit of Levi, I felt a stab in my chest, in the area where my heart should be. Is this the feeling of a broken heart? I don't know, I never genuinely cared about someone before. All I did was whoring around and believe it or not- Jean was a fuck buddy of mine. I had several, but that doesn't matter anymore.

Just where is Levi?

  
Three weeks passed and I found myself in bars almost every night. Hanji was a good listener and I so goddamn needed one. I managed not to talk to Mikasa and Armin, which was really hard, but I can't talk to them about it. Not yet, at least.

"Eren?" I broke out of my daze and stared at Hanji's worried face.

I hummed, "Still nothing from the thief that stole your heart?", she asked and I scoffed and shook my head. Of course not.

"Not even one message. And I don't think he intends to give me my heart back... maybe he wants to keep it and then burn it in front of me, who knows Hanji. Who knows..." I mumbled and sipped on my drink. The alcohol burned in my throat and I gladly welcomed this so familiar feeling.

Someone sat down next to me, the chair scratched pretty loudly against the wooden floor. My eyes were fixed on some whiskey bottle behind the counter.

The man next to me cleared his throat and god- why?

I internally groaned and turned my head to where the sound was coming from.

And if I found that Levi is flawless, than _this_ man was some fucking angel or something. His blonde hair, his blue piercing eyes and that smooth skin of his, he was _perfect_.  
He seems so nice and someone who would cuddle with you when you're upset. Levi you asshole, I don't need your permission to jump this man, do I?

Aaah... right, he's my ex, of course I don't.

"Yeah?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. Is this another man that's running after my ass, fuck me and then leave me alone? Just like Levi did? They're all leaving me...

After my depressing thoughts he smiled, and I mean not a hi-you-are-cute-and-seem-nice-wanna-have-sex smile, I know how they look like, but oh god, this smile, it was from an angel!

"Hey, I am Erwin," he said as hs extended one hand, expecting me to grab it and shake it.  
I hesitantly touched his hand. He has a strong grip, just like... Levi.

Stop it, Eren! You are a goddamn idiot, Levi left you! You weren't good enough, you never were! You are alone.

I... am alone.

I am ...alone?

I _am_ alone!

My eyes were burning and I tried my best to control them.  
I hate you, Levi! Look what you're doing to me!

"-ren?" Hanji's warm voice brought me back and the dam broke. My tears felt hot against my skin and I began to sob in front of everyone else. That's a bit embarassing, to be honest. But I couldn't help myself.

I miss him so much!

"Eren's your name?" Erwin asked and I nodded wealky.

Weakling.  
Loser.  
Disappointment.  
Sh-

"Is everything alright? What's upsetting you?" his voice was filled with worry. But why? I've never met him!

"I don't need your pity!" I screamed out of anger and frustration and suddenly everyone in the bar looked over to us.

 

* * *

 

>>Question (it's basically two, but whatevs): Will Eren let Erwin help him or will Eren storm out and they'll meet somewhere else and become friends?

 


	2. My mind drives me insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I've actually updated! Hurray! I've been working on another fic, which is called Witch Hunting (also Ereri), Idk check that out of you like ^^
> 
> The reason why I actually started to write this chapter was this song: (What if I? - Softengine) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLvhlOrwDRw&index=5&list=PLpBcvqCDgYzAHGoIepTfhKRFcjZidKwHu&pxtry=1
> 
>  
> 
> It really inspired me to write this chapter, so yeah haha.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter, enjoy! (*＾▽＾)／

"Is everything alright? What's upsetting you?" his voice was filled with worry. But why? I've n ever met him!

"I don't need your pity!" I screamed out of anger and frustration and suddenly everyone in the bar looked over to us.

I tried to hide my face out of embarrassment and shame. I shouldn't have raised my voice like that, I know. Blue eyes were sta ring at me and I looked right back at him. I had a good feeling and I honest ly wanted to trust him.

"I-I don't know. I'm not feeling very well, I am sorry that I yelled at you." I licked my lips , my mouth was dry and so I  took another sip of my drink.

Erwin's eyes studied me, his eyes were suddenly everywhere on me, not missing a spot on my body. After some time he nodded almost to himself and asked , "Are you hungry? I know a great place, they make the best pancakes in this town."

I tried to turn him down, tell him that I wasn't worth it, that someone left my sorry ass and I didn't need another heartache. My stomach had other ideas, though. It responded quite well to Erwin's question and thus made me blush. It probably wasn't a bad idea.

I nodded slowly and took a big gulp from my drink, emptying my glass. "Yeah, let's go, I am starving." I got off my stool and god, it felt like my stomach was eating itself! Figures if I don't take care of myself and decide to get wasted every night like the loser that I was.

Erwin was happy to follow me out of the bar and showed me the place that we were supposed to eat pancakes.

"Where exactly is this place you've mentioned?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"It's only 15 minutes away from here. It's not a problem that we're walking, right?"

"No, no, it's completely fine." I assured him. We walked in comfortable silence next to each other. Somehow I felt like I owed him an explanation for my outburst earlier. But  not right now, maybe later while we're eating.

We had some kind of small talk along the way and it was... nice. From what I could tell was that he wasn't some kind of creep  or pervert. Which was good. Probably too good. Despite my mind telling me that something terrible was going to happen, I felt at peace with him and  _ my _  feeling about him wasn't bad. Everything was alright for now.

It wasn't long when he announced we'd be there. From the outside it looked cozy enough, it wasn't a large or a too tiny diner, it was the perfect size. We took a step closer and Erwin held the door open for me and gestured me to get inside.

"After you." he said, his smile was charming.

I couldn't help but chuckle quietly and shook my head. "Thank you." I said and stepped in.

It was really nice with Erwin, he was great company. We sat there for some hours, eating, talking, sharing stories.

"My boyfriend left me and never came back. T-that's why I was so mad and yelled at you. And again, I am so sorry..." I looked outside the window, I couldn't look him into the eyes. It was something I could never do. My mind was briefly filled with Levi. How I wished to know where he was.

My hand was surrounded with warmth and my eyes began to check.

Erwin's hand was on mine, squeezing it tight, as if telling me it's okay. But the truth is that  I  wasn't okay and I didn't know if I would ever  be.

I had collected so many memories with Levi through out the year. They weren't all pleasant, but most of them were and that's all that mattered, right?

It was frustrating. I didn't know what I wanted. I was secretly hoping he'd come back, but at the same time I hoped he would stay away from m e. I could tear my hair out  thinking about this!

But I was genuinely  hoping he would think about me.

Erwin's soothing voice brought me back to reality. "It's alright,  Eren."  Was it? Was it really? I doubt it. His thumb moved back and forth across my hand.

"It must've been terrible," he began.  I scoffed. "But time will heal some of your wounds and then it's up to you if you'll fully recover or not. It's in your hands, Eren. And you have to decide. You can actually get rid of him in your head and be free." he gazed into my eyes and something told me he was dead serious. Why would a stranger want me to be happy? I don't understand...

Erwin must've seen my bewildered expression and scribbled something on a napkin. He was sliding it into my direction. "It's my phone number. If you ever need someone to talk or whatever, then text or call me, okay?"

I was looking at the napkin in front of me and traced my fingers across the digits.

"I'll consider it." was what I finally said.

"Okay."

\----

"You sure you don't want me to bring you home?", Erwin asked me and put his hands into his jacket pockets. I really did n't fancy a stranger knowing where I lived, to be honest.

So I shook my head. I had a great time with him, really. But I knew I'd wallow in self-pity once I am home and my good mood would be gone in an instance.

"No, thank you. I'll manage. I am not as weak as I appear to be." my smile was forced, but could someone blame me for it?

Before I knew it, my back was facing him and my legs started to walk into the direction where my apartment was. No goodbye was said. I couldn't bring myself to say them. I guess I didn't wanted to say them, because I'd like to see him again. Or maybe because I was so upset.

My eyes were glued to the concrete underneath me and my vision started to get blurry. I tried to hi de my face as tears escaped my eyes.

Oh Levi...

\----

I shut the door behind me with a  thud . Only then I notic ed how bad the apartment smelled, because I haven't opened a window for some days now.

It's been some weeks since Levi left. I felt so alone.

 

_Because you are alone, dumbass_.

Shut up!

_I am your mind, idiot, you can't shut me up_.

 

I gritted my teeth.

Throwing my shoes into the corner next to the door I proceeded to walk into the bedroom. My hand hovered over the handle.

I haven't been in there since he's been gone. I only slept o n the couch. Sleeping in the bed same bed we've shared would only be painful.

I took one deep breath and opened the goddamn door. I bit my bottom lip and took a few small steps into the room.

Everything was still in its place.

My knees became weak and I collapsed onto the ground. My face buried in my hands as I was sobbing into them .

Nothing in my life was easy! I just needed Levi and his arms, his kisses, his natural scent, his laughter and his nicknames for me. I wanted everything back, but the world was cruel.

I crawled into the bed and pressed my face into one of Levi's pillows. It smelled just like him. It smelled like home...

My eyes felt so tired. I was tired. Oh so tired.

I was crying myself to sleep, hugging his pillow while crying.

\----

_ "Brat, wake up." this voice was so sweet and full of love. His hands traveled down my body and gave me light kisses along my back. "Come on, baby..." _

_ His lips on my ear and his hands on my waist. I could feel something hard poking me and I could only guess what it was. Soft lips were playing with my earlobe, gently biting it and whispered  in a breathy voice, "Play with me, Eren." _

Startled I woke up. Sweat was beginning to form  on my forehead. It was yet another dream about Levi. When will this end?

Luckily we weren't doing something more... erotic  in my dream before I woke up.

Now I felt bad. I craved his body. _I craved_   _ him _ .

The feeling of shame was creeping in, despite  me knowing  that I couldn't control my dreams, but I still felt very bad. I supported my head with my hands, and my arms on my knees.

Was it a good idea to call Erwin? It wouldn't hurt calling him, or was it?

I rubbed my eyes and got up. I needed tea to calm myself  down.

I was waiting patiently for him to pick up.

I was waiting and waiting...

Goddamnit, Erwin!

And then, finally. "...Hello?" came a tired voice. I woke him up, didn't I? maybe I shouldn't have done it after all.

"Hey, it's Eren. The guy from the bar you ate pancakes with." I said in a timid voice.

What the hell was I thinking, waking up this man at 5 AM?

"Oh! I wasn't expecting you to call so soon." he sti fled a yawn.

I hugged my knees with one arm. "That makes two of us..."

"Are you alright, Eren?" his voice was now more awake.

I couldn't help but smile at his concern. "I dreamed of him. Again." I admitted.

It was quiet on the other end. A few seconds passed and I began to get confused. "Erwin?"

"Do you want to meet up? I could help you get your mind  off things for a while. Only if you want, of course." he suggested.

It definitively sounded amazing. I desperately needed distraction ...

"Yes..."

\----

And there he was, leaning against his black shiny Mercedes. It's only been three or four hours since the last time we saw each other, but  damn , did he get e ven more attractive? I strode towards  him, my eyes fixed on nothing but him. Somehow I couldn't get enough of him. My chest felt heavy and for a moment I couldn't breathe. The way he looked at me, the way his eyes never left mine, made me unable to say or to think anything else.

I hav en't felt like that for a long time. I knew I wasn't ready for another relationship just yet, the pain was still fresh... and despite knowing him for not even a day, I was sure that he'd help me get over the pain, that I  wasn't  alone in this. I mustn't go through this alone. I still had my friends and my family. I'd be happy to call Erwin my friend soon, too. My brain had other ideas, though. My mind wasn't satisfied with me calling him a  friend. It's never quiet  in my goddamn head and it's killing me, because  _ goddamni t _  I can't know for sure if I actually wan ted  to be in a relationship with this guy, because hell, it's too soon to even consider it.

The war in my head forgotten, I stoo d there mesmerized by the sight in front of me. Erwin looked so beautiful in the moonlight and I almost dared to say it out loud. Something like that shouldn't be left unsaid. He should _ know _  that I think he's attractive and he should _ know _  that I want him to stay with me. All of this pain inside of me... I couldn't bear it alone. Something in me said that he wouldn't leave me, because he is a kind soul. I wanted  to believe it, I wanted to believe that what my mind said was true.

My body was only a meter away from his. "I'm glad you're here..." I'm not sure why I said that, I wasn't thinking and apparently  my mouth was quicker than my brain.

"I'm glad you've called." he said. "But let's get into the car, shall we? It's a bit chilly outside." Erwin chuckled.

So we both got into his heated car and put the seat bells on. Erwin started the engine and drove off.

"Where are we going, Erwin?" he gave me a quick smile. "We're going to see the stars." he said.

The stars? In order to properly see the stars shining in the sky we'd have to drive a bit out of town, though... it's kinda romantic...

I leaned back into  my  seat and stared out of the window to distract myself until we were there. I actually love the night. The only downside to this was that my eyes began to feel heavy.

"You can sleep until we're there. I can see that you're tired." he suddenly said.

I might take him up on the offer.

And so I closed my eyes and dreamed of a happy life.

\----

"-ren"

Someone shook my shoulder. I was so tired... just let me lie there for another five minutes.

"Eren, we are there. Wake up." a gentle voice reminded me. That voice...

It was Erwin. Not Levi. Cut it out already,  Eren! I could punch myself right now for  actually missing that fucker.

I sat up and yawned. I turned to look at him. "We're here you say?"

"Uhuh." he hummed.

I opened the door on the passenger sid e and when I got out and looked up at the sky I wasn't disappointed with what I saw.

I gasped. Thousands of stars were to see and it was like a gorgeous painting. It's as if someone put million  of dots on blue paint. Everything sparkled and glowed and it was _  perfect _ . "Oh my god..." I whispered and tried to reach for the sky.

"Eren." said a voice behind me, telling me to turn around.

Erwin sat there on a blanket he spread out on the ground. I was taken aback. He really had planned this...

"We can lie down while watching them." he patted next to him.

"Oh, yeah, that'd be better I think."

So there we were. Lying next to each other and watching the stars.

I was alright. Everything will be alright. Or at least that's what I was feeling.

And I started to believe.

"Tell me a bit about yourself, Eren." oh god. Why? I put my arms  behind me head and started to share some things about me.

"Well, I grew up in Germany, so I can speak G erman fluently. Uh, my mom is an artist  and my father a famous doctor. I also have an adoptive sister Mikasa since I was a kid, I really love her. I was always a good student with pretty good  grades. There was a time for me during High School which was... rough."

Erwin turned his head in my direction. I did too. I was staring into his eyes.

"It's alright, you don't have to tell me about it." he whispered.

"O-okay."

After that he drove me back to my apartment.

"Thank you, Erwin. I really enjoyed it." I said and smiled genuinely.

"You're welcome. I really enjoyed being with you as well."

He took my hand and gave the  top a light kiss. The action took my breath away and stared at him with wide eyes.

"See you." he said and turned around.

I probably stood there for five more minutes before going in.

\----

Two weeks passed and believe it or not, I was texting Erwin on a regular basis. I honestly don't know how it started anymore, but I really liked it, though.  I haven't felt so alone every time I sent  him a text. T hrough phone calls I learned that he worked at  a grocery store, which wasn't that far from my apartment.

From: Erwin |  Sent: 3  PM

>> _ My shift is over around 9 PM, do you want to watch a movie with me at the cinema? I've heard the new  "Attack on Titan" movie  is really good. Are you up for it? _

My breath hitched. Watching a movie? Was this a date or something? But no, he knew  that I wasn't ready for a new relationship yet. Maybe he really just wanted  to hang out?

"Hey, Eren. You're always checking your phone. What's so interesting?" Armin asked.

Oh, right. I was with Jean and Armin. And we're in my living room.  I totally forgot about them just now...

"Is it the guy you've met some weeks ago at the bar?" Jean joined in  pn  the conversation.

"Actually yes. He asked me if I want  to go see a movie with him." I replied with a shrug. I mean, it's not a date.

Armin squealed and hit Jean's arm repeatedly. "Oh my god, Eren! That's wonderful! Maybe you'll spend more time outside and on top of that with a new friend! It's good for you, Eren."

I laughed at Armin's adorable outburst. I guess it  _ is _  good for me.

"I just hope he doesn't show up at my apartment completely wasted again." teased Jean. Oh you little motherfucking piece of shit. I grabbed a pillow behind me and aimed it at Jean, but he caught it with his left hand.

" Hah , nice try, Jaeger." he held up the pillow in victory. Armin chuckled at our  behaviour .

It was so nice just to laugh with the people that you love- uh yes, you can count Jean in - and not caring about anything else.

My life was okay now, it's been a bit over a month since Levi's disappearing. But I managed. For now.  The thought of something happening again  scared me more than I cared to admit...   


 

>>Question: Who will fall in love first? Because, remember, Eren isn't actually in love with Erwin, he only met him a few weeks ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter: movie "date"! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
> 
> Kudos/Comments are really appreciated!
> 
> Let your ideas flow for the next chapter, guys! You can also tell me specific things like, some scenes, what should happen in that exact moment etc. Since they'll be in a cinema anything can happen... | ￣∀￣ |
> 
> See you!


	3. I can barely breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How long has it been since the last update? Two weeks or so? I could've sworn it's just been a few days, but nope, time is going by faster than I'd like to admit. The reason why this is up so late is because I was still feeling like: ( ′︵‵。)
> 
> Fricking school started and I am now in 12th grade and let me tell you: I hate it already. I don't like my classes. Everything is shitty and I am feeling shitty and so I have lost the motivation to write. BUT this chapter is 4k long and idk it could be really shitty, though I still hope you like it ^^
> 
> Oh and the chapter titles usually don't have anything to do with the chapter, it's just the songs I've listened to while writing this hahaha. This time it was "I Can Barely Breathe" by Manchester Orchestra. Love this song.

A few hours passed and Jean and Armin were gone. I had a great time and felt happier than I have been a few days ago. I still haven't answered Erwin's  message. Armin said I shouldn't waste my chance of happiness. And so I lied down onto my couch and clutched my phone. I should say yes.

I was probably going to say yes. Armin would tackle me if he heard I said no.

It was 7 PM. Would he get my answer fast enough? Well, let's find out.

To: Erwin

>> _ I'm sorry for the late reply, I was with my friends. Sure, sounds good. I'll wait for you at the grocery store. _

And sent. Phew. I don't know why but my heart was beating so fast in my chest and I let out a tiny squeal. But a real manly squeal. I was excited. Yeah, that must be it, because I was hugging my phone to my chest and pressed my face into a cushion and screamed.

I pushed my body up with one arm and threw my head back. I was happy at the moment and nothing could change that.

Erwin still hadn't replied to my text after 30 min and I stood on front of my closet. What should I wear? Nothing too fancy, it's only a movie. But I also didn't want to look like I didn't try hard enough. With Levi it was never a problem, he didn't care what I wore  as long as I was there it was okay.

" _You'd even be beautiful_ _in a trash bag._ "  is what he always  said to me, it made me chuckle a lot of times.

I could go with black jeans,  a gre y hoodie and my  favourite  red sneakers. It was simple, cool and even Jean said it looked good on me, and that must mean something if  Jean,  out of all people, complimented  me .

It was only a matter of time that Erwin would give me a response. I hoped he'd still be up for it after waiting so long for my answer, because if not, then wow... it'd hurt a lot.

My palms began to get sweaty.  Ew , just no. I still had a lot of time before I met up with Erwin, so I made myself a tea as usual and calmed myself down. The scent of the black tea rose into my nose and I sighed.

* * *

 

Out of boredom I sent Armin a picture of me. He had to tell me if I looked good enough or not.

From: Armin | Sent: 8:10 PM

>> _ Looking good,  Eren ! Now go and get ' em , tiger! _

This usually wasn't how Armin responded. Jean was probably bad influence for him. Yep, that must be it.  I couldn't see any other explanation.

I went into the bathroom and checked my hair. It was unruly and messy, but I couldn't tame it, but I perhaps that was my actual charm.

I couldn't help but think of worst case scenarios.

 

What if Erwin thought I was just a stupid, boring kid and never wanted  to see me again?

What if he had enough of me?

What if he gave up on me and just pitied me?

What if he saw I was too broken to get fixed?

I took a deep, deep breath.

_ Think pos itive, think positive, think positive,  think positive... _

What if Erwin thought I was funny and nice and wanted to hang out with me more?

What if he wanted to get to know me more?

What if he actually cared about me?

What if he wanted to help me get better?

What if he actually   _liked_  me?

And maybe, just maybe I wanted him to do   _just that_ .

One last glance at the clock and, fuck, I had to hurry up!

I took my keys and my wallet,  my phone abandoned and sprinted out the door and ran down the stairs. It probably was a bad idea, because the time that I'd  ge t to the grocery store I'd be all sweaty and also close to death. My pace slowed down  and I had a hard time breathing. Why did I ran down the stairs again?  Oh yeah, because it's almost 9  fucking PM!

I knew the store was somewhere around here... I've been there a few times, but never had I seen Erwin working there.. . Or I just never noticed him. That could also be it.

My eyes were searching for the familiar store and...  _ got it! _  And to my surprise Erwin already stood there, ready to go.

When his eyes found me, he smiled and walked towards me. I was oh so nervous and my hands were shaking a bit. My mind was running wild, but I had to focus on Erwin, or else he'd think I was crazy or mentally insane by the time he'd notice I was in my head the whole time and just stood there not saying anything.

"Nice seeing you,  Eren . It's been a while since the last time we've seen each other." he said.

That was true, but we were texting for weeks so it kind of makes up for the lack of seeing  the other.

I put my hands into the pockets of my sweater, so he couldn't see how nervous I was.

" Uhuh , we should do something like that more often. O-only if you want t-to, that is..." I was stuttering... fucking hell, k ill me right here and there. It was so embarrassing, but Erwin didn't seem to mind and chuckled.

"Oh definitively." he took my hand in his. "May I?" he asked and fuck yes, of course you may. I nodded timidly, making it really funny for me, because on the inside I was so d ifferent than on the outside.

His hand was so warm and the wind so cold and I wished he would never let go. Erwin's hand was much bigger than mine and I wonder, is it because he is tall er than me?

We were walking hand in hand like a couple. That thought made me  even more nervous . Because we weren't a couple. We were friends. Should I ask him why he took my hand? Would he let go of it? Would he feel guilty? Would he think he's taking advantage of me? Would he?

And I should stop thinking. Over-thinking wasn't good. It's unhealthy. But it always came back to it.

I had no control over it. One thought leads to another and so on. I wish there was a  red stop button.

"- nd  I wasn't looking and this kid knocked over everything-  Eren ? Are you listening?"

Oh shit, I wasn't paying attention and I didn't had any clue what he was talking about! Something about a kid and it destroyed everything or I don't know.

"I'm sorry, Erwin. I was a bit...  uhm , lost in my own head." I admitted. Lying would be bad and I honestly  wouldn't have an excuse anyway.

He squeezed my hand a bit tighter and his eyes softened. "It's alright, it happens. I was just talking about a kid who completely smashed all the canned food onto the ground. And I just finished putting them into the shelf,  damnit ." he laughed. I was quietly  laughing with him. What a stupid kid, I would murder it and then  process   _him_  into canned food.

What a disgusting idea.

"What did you do then?" I asked curiously. I couldn't imagine him getting angry and yell and cuss around.

"His mom was there so I had to be nice and put them back in." he shrugged,

"Why are you even working there? I could never work at  a grocery store." I said. The people never put the items back to its original place, they open things even before buying it and they are rude. Plus the pay is shitty.

"Well, it's not like I enjoy working at the store, it's just that I can't find a job. My dream was it to work at the military, but both of  my parents were against it. And this job is just for paying my rent, so it's nothing permanent. Maybe working at a dojo would be something for me."

Jesus, he's also athletic as fuck? My eyes scanned his body and  _ damn _ , if he has a lot of muscles then I'm going to  die .

"A dojo? Then good luck." I said and smiled.

He turned to me, "Thanks. What do you actually do,  Eren ? You never told me what job you have."

I licked my lips. "You're right, I guess I didn't. I'm teaching kids how to play instruments and help them to sing better."

Becoming a singer was  originally my plan, unfortunately no record wanted to work with me. Whether it be my voice or they didn't needed someone new, it still sucked, though.

"Then I'm sure you can teach me how to play the piano, right?" Erwin asked.

What .

"Huh?" was my lame respond.

"It's such a beautiful instrument, it's be great to be able to play it. Would it be okay if you'd be the one teaching me?"

Well, it really would have some good things about it. We could play  and spend time together. Hell yeah, we would have more time together!

"Come to my studio and I can show you, so sure." I hid my grin. Was it okay to show him that I liked it and that I was happy about his suggestion?

_ Yes it is, dumbass. _

Ugh, my mind was  arguing with me again. Or,   _I_  was arguing with  _ me _  again? Maybe I was really crazy.

We walked for about fifteen minutes and I had the feeling someone was watching us. But when I looked around, no one was there. We were the only ones walking down the street. And I looked again and again and again, and the feeling was  still there .

"Is... everything alright?" Erwin asked worriedly. Oh fuck.

I shook my head, "No, nothing... everything is good!" I laughed nervously.

_ Please do n't think I was  crazy, please don't think I was  crazy, please don't think I was crazy... _

I've been often questioning my insanity lately. How weird. Or concerning.

Whatever.

We finally arrived at the cinema and I breathed out of relief. I hated small talk.

Unfortunately, Erwin let go of my hand when we entered the building and bought the tickets . His warmth left my hand and  quickly began to feel colder. I didn't knew that I was openly showing my  disappointed, until Erwin asked what was wrong.

" I-I can buy the food, you're already payed  for the tickets. " I somehow tried to change the subject.

How pathetic.

\----

We were waiting for the stuff to let us into the theater where we  can see the movie. I was excited to see the new movie, everyone was talking about it and I was seeing it! And on top of it:  I was seeing it with  Erwin . Mr. I'm- so- handsome- and- look- like- an- angel. I was truly blessed.

The strange thing was that I could still feel someone's eyes on me. My attempts at looking around and find the person failed.

Until-

Until I could see blond  and brown hair and two people hiding behind a pillar. They suspiciously looked like...

I narrowed my eyes and tried to control my breathing.

Fucking Armin and Jean.

I should've known that they would be doing something, seeing as Armin was so excited, he probably convinced Jean to go along with his plan. I never get a break, do I?

I just hoped that won't happen all the time.

Wait. Was I actually hoping  Erwin and I would go out more often together?

Oh Jesus. I guess there was no more denying it.

I wanted to  spend time with him.

The happy feeling after thinking that was something I couldn't describe. It was so strong, not entirely new, but It was a feeling I welcomed.

I turned to Erwin, "I have to g o to the bathroom, be right back." I excused myself.

Erwin just said okay and I went into the direction where Armin and Jean where hiding.

With fast steps I peeked behind the pillar. " Booh ." I said and they both jumped at my voice.

"E- Eren !" Armin was the first one to say something. He rubbed his neck and Jean looked more pale.

"What are you doing here guys? You have been following me the whole time, right ?" I accused them.

I was patiently waiting for an answer and I sighed when no one said anything. "Hey... I'm not really mad at you, just a bit confused." I said.

Jean spoke up. "Armin just wanted to see how you're doing on your date. He was so happy to know you've found someone. To be honest, I've also been curious on how the guy looked like. I mean, you've been texting him all the time and smiled while doing it. Come on, there's  gotta  be something to it."

Date. Armin was happy. The texts. The smiling.

How on earth did it come to this? First the thing with Levi. I was totally depressed and now... Was I moving on too fast?

"It's not a date..." I whispered.

" Eren , he likes you. I can see that. I should know it, we've been following you. His face says everything. Please give him a chance" Armin said.  "Give  yourself  a chance..."

He was right. He's Armin. He should be.

* * *

 

I begged the m to leave so I could enjoy my date... or whatever this was. I still wasn't entirely convinced that this was a date.   


What would happen in this dark room? Would we watch the movie or would we make out?

Row C, seat 17. It was perfect. I had a good view of the screen and no taller person sat in front of me.

Halfway  through the movie I felt Erwin putting his arm around my shoulder  and I leaned in without knowing doing that. I recently had no control over what I did. Scary not to be in control of your own goddamn body.

So close to Erwin I could smell his natural scent. It was already so familiar as if I knew him longer than the past month. And the fact that his arm was around my shoulders made my feel so mushy on the inside. His body heat had been melting me.

My eyes were gazing over to him and silently watched him, I was analyz ing his face.

What was he feeling?

Was he nervous too?

I needed answers!

"Hey." I blurted out. I mentally face palmed myself, because fucking hell, I didn't want to say anything!

"Yeah?" Erwin whispered, I couldn't almost hear him, he was so quiet and the movie so loud. " The Commander looks a lot like you."

Weak. It wasn't what I wanted to say. Although that was true too...

He chuckled. "I suppose he does. I bet I would be a good Commander, don't you think so?" he mused.

I gave him a quiet laugh. "You'd be. And I'd be this Aaron character and be your subordinate."

"I can clearly see  the  similarities ." he said. My brows furrowed. "Not only do yo u look like him, you also have this fiery look in your eyes."

I sunk further into my seat while leaning in more to Erwin's touch. "Don't exaggerate." I scoffed.

"It's true. And the crazy scientist looks like the woman from the bar."

"You mean Hanji...?" I asked. I looked back onto the screen and the character indeed looked like her. It made me shudder. This movie was awesome, but the fact that some of them looked like some of  us , was a  really scary thought . It'd be crazy if this would be real. Luckily it's not.

My eyes squinted as a fight scene came on. That guy with the black hair looked exactly like Levi.

You've got to be kidding me!

What kind of fucked up thing is this? It's like they drew the people I've met in  my life and made a movie with them. And apparently also  me . Aaron.

I wished I could see Levi  and not a look alike on a screen. I still missed him. During the day the feeling was barely there, my friends and family made it bearable, but there were times I still cried into his pillow, in our  bed . Maybe it's progress. It had to be.

"You know, I am really wondering if the titans can digest the people they ate." Erwin said. I just shrugged, simply not knowing the answer, "Who knows. I hope they'll make another movie."

Erwin nodded. "And then we'll see what's in the basement."

I turned to him and gasped. "Yes! I really  wanna  know..." I said and stared into his eyes for a few more moments. Time stood still and my mind was telling me it was the perfect moment to kiss him. But I didn't and he didn't.

We didn't.

* * *

 

The movie had ended and Erwin and I were talking on our way back home. It was pretty late and he offered to walk me home.

"I'm not weak, you know?" I playfully said.

"I know, that's what you said the first time I wanted to bring you home safely." Erwin chuckled.

Oh. I remember. "So nothing has changed. I am still not weak." I laughed, remembering the first night together. He took my hand in response, startling me a bit.

"You don't have to be strong all the time,  Eren . Let me be there for you and let me walk you home. I'm sure you could handle three guys at the same time, but I want to do this." his voice was gentle and held  my hand more tightly in his.

Lately everyone was right about just anything. And I was the only one not having a single clue.

"Yeah... okay." was all I said. I didn't wanted to appear 'mean'. What I wanted to say was that I care, that he was right, that I wanted him to protect me, but nothing came out. The words never left my mouth.

In front of my apartment, he released my hand. My back was resting against the wall. I took a good look at his face. He stared back at me with such fondness it almost hurt. His eyes softened and I sighed. Looking at him made my chest all  warm and shit.

The whole day I was asking myself what would happen after the 'date'. I was so anxious all the time and now there we were.

Erwin's face was centimeters away from mine, "I had a great evening." he said. I could feel his warm breath on my lips. We were so close that if I moved in a bit, we'd be kissing.

My eyes focused on his pink lips. "Me too. Thank you." I said and my eyes traveled back to his eyes, staring into them.

Erwin leaned in and I did the same. His lips met mine. The kiss was sweet and short. When we parted, we briefly looked at each other and kissed again. And again and again. We got lost in each other and I couldn't say I didn’t liked it. T he kiss became more heated and messier. His hand tangled in my hair, whilst mine was resting on his chest. I could hear my own heart beating and god, I thought I was going to die. Erwin's lip s were so soft and it felt like they were _ just _ _right_ ,  like they were meant for me. And perhaps they were.   


_ They can be yours, you just have to let go. _   


Shut up. 

 

Our kiss broke and I smiled sheepishly at him. My face felt so hot, but Erwin's wasn't better. He was fucking blushing!

"I-I..." I stuttered. This meant we would have a lot of talking to do in the future.

He licked his lips. "I hope we can do this again." he said. "Meeting up, I mean!" he said hastily.

"I'd love to." I said, blushing.

Back in my apartment I was calling Armin and okay, we kind of fangirled.

It wasn't only fangirling. I was telling him about my worries and fears. One of them was that it meant nothing for Erwin.

" _Don't be such an idiot,_ _ Eren _ _! Of course he likes you_!"

"Well, I don't know, Armin!" I threw my hands into the air. "What is  Erwin  thinking right now..." I muttered.

" _He's probably thinking about what to do next. I would too. I mean, you two kissed and all that. Do you really want to do this? Do you_ _  feel _ _anything for him?_ "

"I'm not sure, Arm. I have these weird feelings anytime I am near him, but also when he's texting me." I sighed.

This kiss made everything more complicated than it already was.

" _Hm_." Armin hummed. " _I'd say give it some time. You both should figure yourself out first. Ask yourself what you want, think about the kiss and your feelings._ "

"I guess I should do that." I said. "Thanks, Arm."

He giggled, " _Anytime, my friend. Oh and I haven't told you about Jean!_ " he excitedly said.

"What did he do?" I asked. He groaned. " _We were at a café and I swear to god_ _ Eren , he was so nervous around  Mikasa _ _! I just wish he would have the courage to actually talk to her. He is a lost cause_." he deadpanned the last part and I laughed so hard I needed a minute to regain my posture.

"Isn't he always? I'm wondering how he made it this long."

" _No kidding_." breathed out Armin on the other side.

We talked more about Jean and  Mikasa  until it was time for Armin to go to sleep. He almost fell asleep on the phone. Did I ever mention how cute Armin actually is? I was blessed to have him as my best friend. I wouldn't know what to do with him. Honestly.

When I tried to sleep I was wide awake. It was kind of annoying, seeing as it was  1 AM already. I was in bed, surrounded by darkness. It was never good. I closed my eyes and tried not to think negative thoughts. But it was almost inevitable.

I touched my lips with my fingers. It felt like I've cheated on Levi, although I know it's not true. And yet it still felt like it. Come to think of it, we never actually broke things off. Which makes things even harder for me . I  still  had feelings for Levi and I  still  had him in my head and I  still  couldn't let go.

My hand searched for my phone and when I found it, I opened Levi's contact. I shouldn't.

I still haven't changed his contact name...

To: The bae

>> _ Levi? I know it's bad to text you, but I couldn't help myself. I still have so many questions, there is so much doubt in me and I still miss you. If you read this, please answer me as soon as possible. Or don't. I don't know what I want lately and I'm even not sure if I want this... _

Half an hour later...

To: The bae

>> _ Where are you actually? _

  
To: The bae

>> _Do you miss me? Is someone with you?_

  
To: The bae

>> _Will you ever come back?_ __

  
To: The bae

>> _Do you regret the choice you made?_

Yeah, do you regret the choice you made, Levi?

A few hours later,  I fell asleep with my phone in hand and tears on my face.

I dreamed of someone caressing my cheek. The hand was soft and gentle. The person was whispering my name lovingly.   


 

 

>>Question: What should happen next? (This time I'll let you decide what could happen, let your ideas run wild)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thank you for the lovely comments, you guys make my day (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)
> 
> My tumblr: fckingtitanslayer.tumblr.com | You can always ask me things regarding this fic, or just talking to me if you feel like it, or you can submit your ideas in my ask box :)
> 
> Now I have to write the next chapter for my other fic... Someone already asked me when the next chapter is up :s

**Author's Note:**

> So how does this work: At the end of a chapter I will ask a question. You'll write a comment and answer my question with an idea of yours (I need some structure in this fic and I also have to kind of lead you, so that's why) and then you write some ideas of what will happen next chapter.
> 
> So please let your ideas flow, you have a lot of time until the next chapter will be out haha. Until then, folks!~ *floats away*


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